The more I speak to family, friends, colleagues and strangers I have become aware that alot of people find Christmas accultely stressfull. Not many people find it easy, magical or stress-free. It’s got me wondering “why?”.

Why do find this time of year hard to navigate? Why does it bring up so many emotions? Why do we set such high exceptions?

When you reflect upon the first Christmas, I am sure it wasnt in Mary and Josesphs birth plan to have their son in a dirty stable, alone, at night. I am sure they had higher expectations of this moment. Where has the simplicity of this story and moment got lost over the years? How do we claim it back? How to we get back to a simpler time.

Over the years I have significantly reduced my stress at Christmas time by doing a few simple things:

Buy less presents, be present.
The last 2 years we have said to family that we arent doing presents and therefor there is no expectation to get any for us. You can see the amount of pressure this lifts off everyone. If money or resources are stretched for you, perhaps make a DIY present, make some mince pies, wrap up a book that you’ve enjoyed and pass it on. Instead, think about how this year you can be present for your loved ones, what conversations can you create, what memories can you make that will outlast a box of chocolates.

Know your limits.
Sometimes there feels like there are so many people to fit into 2 or 3 short days. It’s impossible to see everyone, be in 6 different places at once. It’s good and healthy to settle in one or two locations for the Christmas period. If there are people you desperately want to see, make deliberate plans to see them in the new year, get the diary out, stick to the date and enjoy the moment your in.

Create space for emotions.
Every year on my birthday, I cry. Its become a bit of running family joke, much to my delight. I think it’s becuase I feel extra emotional aorund my birthday as I acknowledge a year gone and new chapter beginning. The same thing can happen at Christmas, if you find this time of year emotional, thats ok. Have a moment or two.

The empty chair or chairs.
Every family will have someone who is missing at Christmas. An extra place at the table which might not be acknowledged out loud but is somehow the loudest thing in the room. Loss at Christmas time is extra profound and sour. I lost an uncle 3 years ago now, Christmas was his time, he came alive around the family, his plate was always extra full of roasties and pudding, his camera phone being sure not to miss a moment. To acknowledge the weight we are all feeling as a family, as we sit down down to eat and say a prayer, we are sure to include his loss in our prayer. Its a simple fleeting moment, but somehow allows us all to take a deep breath and feel our grief.

Remember to stop and remember the reason for the season.
This sounds like an obvious one but its so easy to forget with targeted advertising, commercialism and an ever increasing pressure to “have it all”, its easy to forget the true meaning of Christmas. My little one year old has got an advent calendar this year, he hasn’t quite understood that it’s just 1 door each morning but we are getting there. My husband, as they open the advent calendar door, has started to say “Thank you Jesus for this day, thank you for coming into the world and being with us”. Obviously our son has very little clue what we are saying but its a lovely reminder for us as a growing family that among the commercialism of advent chocolate, the true meaning can be given space and brought to life.

So my encouragement to you at this time of year is to consider and implement some of these steps.By embracing simplicity, setting boundaries, and grounding ourselves in gratitude, we can not only survive Christmas but find joy and meaning in it — just as it was always meant to be.

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